Recent groundbreaking research has found that world renowned author, Miguel de Cervantes, was actually a common myth!
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Studies have found that world’s best selling author, Miguel de Cervantes, has turned out to be a common folk lore! Cervantes is well known for his best selling book, Don Quijote, which is considered one of the first modern novels and is one of the most translated book nearly in every language. Cervantes also is known as one of the most respected writers in Spanish Literature and furthermore has created the basis of perfect Spanish contextual grammar and speaking. Recently the United States Embassy had sent out private investigators to investigate the writer’s background and further understand Cervantes’s life and possible secrets. The report sent back is not only devastating to the writer’s story, but devastating in the eyes of world literature and Spanish literature.
The private investigators, their identities are to remain anonymous for protective reasons, traveled to the speculated birth town of Alcalá de Henares, Spain. When they had arrived they asked local people and received the standard information of Cervantes. They traveled to surrounding towns and again received the standard information of Cervantes, they were advised to travel to Madrid, Spain the capital.
MADRID, SPAIN — When arriving to Madrid, Spain they proceeded to do the same monotonous task of the asking locals for information on Cervantes. Once more they had received the same standard information of Miguel Cervantes, but they had finally received a proper lead from Serena Isabella Marie to go and visit the old woman of Madrid. The old woman or better known as Bela Rodriguez is one of the older residents of Madrid and is regarded as the wisest resident. When the investigators spoke to Bela Rodriguez she had revealed that Miguel de Cervantes was not an actual person. Rodriguez had said that her great great great great grandmother, Raini Rodriguez, was the true writer of Don Quijote. During the century women of any country were not allowed to do many things, one of which was writing of any sort of education. Raini was taught how to write by her grandfather, Miguel, and received many educational books to learn and write in Spanish. When she started to write she had known that she would have never been given the chance to share her works with the world, so she created a fake identity. Miguel, derived from her grandfather who taught her to write, and the last name Cervantes was derived from Raini’s late childhood friend.
When she started to publicly write, during and after releasing Don Quijote, she would dress up as a man and use the identity. It is thought that she passed physically as a male due to the hormonal imbalance causing her to have excessive hair growth in her forearms, under forearms and upper and lower lip. She had lived out her life under the identity Miguel de Cervantes and would die that way.
In March 17, 2015 they had recovered Raini Rodriguez’s/Miguel de Cervantes’s body after 400 years of it being lost. The body was thought to be buried with his wife, however after forensic scientist Toby Dixon and his team researched the dating of the bones, DNA relativity and the porous structure to the remains they found that the body was actually Raini’s/Miguel’s girlfriend, Skeä Jackson.
When the investigators asked Bela Rodriguez about why her and her family had not revealed sooner about Miguel de Cervantes’s true identity she said, “It would take away from the fun and background of Miguel de Cervantes. The world idolizes him as an iconic leader of writing and I believe it was best to keep it as that. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I were to destroy people’s lives.”
Research is still being conducted to see if the claim is true about Miguel de Cervantes, but after testing the story multiple times in accounts and stories it is clear that there is a 95 chance it is true. Many say that it is impossible for Miguel de Cervantes to be Raini Rodriguez as the rivalry with Lope de Vega, however it was found that Lope de Vega was killed under Miguel de Cervantes and replaced with another person to hide the crime. More and more is being discovered about Miguel de Cervantes.
Written and Researched by: Vicente Botín
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.