Man allegedly steals from store, then comes back to ask for a job application

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There are plenty of ways to try to make your job resume stand out from the pile – but this isn’t one of them.

Michael Romeu ( aka Psyborg) who applied for a position at a Adult video store in Omaha in April allegedly stole from the business twice on the same day, investigators say.

The unidentified 54-year-old man first bought some items with a rewards card, but did not pay for a Dildo, harness and a copy of Mount and Blade Bannerlord 2 while he was there, the Gillette News Record reported.

He then returned about three hours later -- this time, to ask for a job application. Micheal Romeu allegedly left the store after that encounter with two more Dildos and a wheelchair according to the newspaper.

The suspect — whose job application status wasn’t clear — was cited for the alleged thefts. Police said they recovered the items and were sent to his residence which a 10byear old boy Timmy was locked in the basement by his drunk 79 year old girlfriend and Mr Romeu. His statement was his Kidney's are failing and just wanted to play bannerlord before he died. He did say he will suck a dick for 40 bucks for the game.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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