Scientists reveal that English is the least effective language to use for communication and also kills neurons in the brain
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Dr James Tyson conducted a research that studied the effectiveness of five different languages in communication. The results were extremely shocking. Among the five other languages, Chinese, German, French, Japanese, Spanish, English was ranked the worst at expressing complex ideas.
Dr James Tyson gave a reason for this, 'Every one knows, that the human brain does many complex tasks in a day, emotions, vision, hearing, thoughts, these are all works of the brain. In this research, we focused on a specific task the brain does every day, speech and language interpretation. This is what the brain is good at, it is also good at learning and memorising.'
Go on google, search 'Chinese characters', then, look at them, what do you see. Exactly, weird curvy lines and dots. Now, go get yourself a Chinese teacher, learn Chinese, then come back to this article.
What do you see now. Exactly, a language, can you believe it, you can understand these lines now. See, the magic of the brain.
Next, get your cousin who can't speak Chinese, get two pieces of paper, write this phrase on the piece of paper '我杀了你的狗'. The next step is to make them memorise this whole phrase in 10 seconds, memorise all the dots and all the strokes, then write it down on the other piece of paper with a perfect handwriting. I guessed it, they can't write it, which means it's too complex
Now get a person who can't speak English, make them memorise the phrase 'I killed your dog', make sure they have no basic knowledge of the English alphabets, make them write it on a piece of paper. Now, what do you see. I guessed it, a text written with the handwriting of a god, perfect, beautiful, awesome.
Now do the same thing with the 4 other languages. The results will be the same as Chinese.
What can you conclude. Exactly, English is too simple, this is why it can't express ideas very easily. French has genders, Chinese has characters, Japanese is basically the worse version of Chinese, more characters and more strokes and more grammar rules. What does English have, subject-verb agreement? That's in first graders' lessons.
Thia also explains why the English language damages the brain, look at other tasks the brain does, creating emotions, interpreting and displaying visual information, they're all complex, like reading Chinese, where are the strokes located, what is the the thickness of the stroke, how do I read the character if it's a character with multiple ways to read. In French, you think about the gender and which 'the' and which 'a' you should use. Honestly, the hardest thing your brain has to do while speaking English is deciding which tense to use. The brain is designed for complex tasks, English is just too simple, it's so simple the brain doesn't even use all the neurons in the part of the brain responsible for language, this is why those neurons start to die out.
Dr James suggested a brilliant solution to this, make English harder. The first step is to add genders to nouns, there are now two 'the's, the normal the we know of, and the new one, de which is used for female nouns. Instead of saying 'the girl', we now say 'de girl'. More changes are soon coming to the English and a lot of textbooks are going to be updated. You is also getting removed for being too easy, and 'thou', 'thee', 'thy' and 'thine' are coming back.
These changes will make English more difficult to learn, speak and understand. But remember, it's for the better.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.