Local Badass, Brodie Graham convicted on 7 counts of Swag-Related charges
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Local fucking badass and newly pledged Sigma Chi, Brodie Ray-Ridgway Graham, hath been accused and convicted on several swag-related charges. The 7 convictions include:
1 count of Suspicion of Being Fucking Dope
1 count of Dress Code violation (Too God Damn Drippy)
2 counts of Fucking your Bitch/Mom
1 count of Being Too Frat/Yolked
1 count of Stealing all the Local Poon
1 count of Necrophilia
This comes as an immense shock to his family and friends. Here’s how his Family and Friends reacted:
“I mean, I knew Brodie was a great looking, handsome young man, but I never knew that he was fucking my hot friends...” -Brodie’s Mother
“Brodie was my Bud, brother. We used to hit the town and get lion all the time. No wonder why the local talent hasn’t been coming my way for a while.” - Scott “Big Hoss” David
Brodie Graham was booked on 7 counts of Swag-related charges early Monday morning after pleading guilty to all counts. He has been transferred to Angola Prison.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.